shadowedge613: (Default)
2008-05-14 10:50 pm

This is not an update.

I'm so tired...

It was a very long drive back from Tampa tonight. *Whimper Whimper Whimper*
shadowedge613: (Default)
2008-05-07 09:57 pm

AH FUCK, FUCK, FUCK.

Yes, it has been that kind of week. I still have not gotten a) the internet, b)my summer hours, c) my summer classes, or d)my extreme empathy with Pairadox under control.

There are long and convoluted reasons for all of this, however I can't actually bring myself to talk about any of it, having talked anyone who will listen ears' off about it. So typing is right out.

No, that makes no sense. Or maybe it does.

But other than that, today was alright.

Story and I got to hang out and go Goodwill-ing today. I found a new outfit or two for gigs, and a pair of leather pants.

And right now, I'm wearing the amazing leather jacket I got a couple of weeks ago. It is very snuggley, and keeps me warm. I like it lots.
shadowedge613: (persephone swallows)
2008-04-23 10:53 pm

How much does Goodwill love me?

Goodwill and I , (Well, thrift Stores in general, really) have a special relationship. I worship at their alter, and in return, they give me what I want. Really. My mantra goes like so: "All things come to those who wait: at Goodwill."

I have found tops that I lusted at when they were brand new and over priced. I have found a skirt I fell in love with three different times. The first, it did not fit me. The second time it did, and I bought it. The third time I found it, and bought it for a friend whom had lusted after mine. I have won bets on being able to find things.

But the real question is, does Goodwill love me enough for this?




And am I bad feminist for wanting one in the first place?
shadowedge613: (persephone swallows)
2008-04-14 12:19 am

(no subject)

Well, Fetish ball went up, and down, in fine form. Re-cap at some point, maybe.

But I wanted to share this post from one of the blogs I read, in honor of Sexual Assault Awareness Month.

http://www.femmerotic.com/journal/2008/04/07/the-revolution-will-be-televised-whether-i-like-it-or-not/
shadowedge613: (persephone swallows)
2008-03-20 12:05 am

body mods

So, I have this intense desire to alter my body at varied intervals. It does not seem to correspond to anything in particular, but when it comes I must a) wait it out, or b) give in.

In the past I have: had my hair cut, seriously contemplated tattoos(so far, without result,) had my ears pierced, completely change the way I dress, and cut my own hair.

This time, I'm considering new holes in my ears. Or cutting my hair.

Mainly because the financial outlay is significantly smaller than that of a tattoo. And the healing much less bothersome. Nil for the hair, actually.

So something may be happening soon. Or I will wait it out again.
shadowedge613: (Christmas kiwi)
2008-03-13 11:48 pm

memes, books, and ponderings

I procrastinated for a good long while on this meme, despite the fact that I love books. Or perhaps because I love books, since I have so many that are important, picking out a few seemed a task too daunting by half. But here we are, after much time:

So, what books have changed your life? Shifted your paradigm? Turned your world and perceptions upside down? They don't have to be "significant" books to anyone but you. They can be fiction, they can be non-fiction, they can be graphic novels.

What are the 10 (or so) books that changed YOUR life? And, if you would like to, and can, share how each changed your life.

"The Moon is a Harsh Mistress" by Robert Heinlein -- shaped me into the polyamourist I am today. Not that I thought so when I read it at the tender age of 9 or so. Rather, I read it, and the insidious idea that loving only one person for ever and ever was, shall we say, horse monkey, worked its way into my skull. It eventually found a happy home in my world view and practice, with some help from Pairadox.

"Moretta: Dragon Lady of Pern" by Anne McCaffery -- After a steady diet of Nancy Drew and "The Secret Garden" like books, I found this book in the children's section( goodness only knows why) at the public library. I devoured it in an evening, and sobbed at the end. But I had found a female heroine, who did heroic things, had responsibilities, respect, a sex life, and well... not a happy ending. But here was a woman who went out and did things. Real things that mattered, and was nothing but herself. This lead me to a great deal of McCaffery, which shaped my life in interesting ways, I'm sure. For one thing, I still want a fire lizard.

"Wyrd Sisters" by Terry Pratchett -- this was handed to me by my 6th grade teacher at a rummage sale, with the recommendation of: "The rest of these books are not very good. But you will like this one." She was right. A fascination with Pratchett, footnotes, and "the Scottish play" followed in short order. Later, Pratchett also game me: my theory on how gods and belief work (Small Gods), a temporal theory (Thief of Time), and a great respect for tyrants.

"Monsters of Mythology" series by Bernard Evslin -- Taught me most of the mythology that I know. I was forbidden from the fiction section, after a series of parent teacher conferences about my habit of ignoring class to read my book. But mythology is technically non-fiction... Also: illustrated by classical works of art. Mythology and art, all at the same time.

I'm going to have to come back to add more at a later time: the hour grows late, and my head is tired.
shadowedge613: (I wear pretty makeup)
2008-03-09 09:12 pm

Better than we thought.

Thanks to all who sent kind thoughts and offers of appliances after my last post. FPL finally made it out late last night and fixed the power, and the toll of dead appliances is relatively short. our oven, but not our stove, the CD changer, the CD alarm clock, a couple of sets of computer speakers, and (the big bad) Micheal's computer will not turn on.

But hopefully FPL will reimburse us for some of the stuff. And so it goes.
shadowedge613: (persephone swallows)
2008-03-08 12:14 pm

Something is rotten... In the power at our house

The power started flickering yesterday with the high winds, and at this point we have shut it off at the breaker, because we are getting insane power surges. In our bathroom, three bulbs popped, and the last one was shining at approximately the rate of a 100 watt bulb: it is rated for 40. It too gave up the ghost after while. We have most likely lost most of the appliances, a clock CD/radio, and an assortment of power surge bars and light bulbs. FPL has yet to do anything about this. I'm posting from the Library while I wait for my cell phone to charge: it seems unharmed, but it did not charge overnight because of the power flares.

But we are alright, despite Scott having a power strip explode and melt in his hand when he attempted to turn it off.
shadowedge613: (Christmas kiwi)
2008-02-24 09:42 pm

This is my silly Icon. Cause of the sleep dep.

So Friday I spent most of the evening and part of my day doing gig prep. for the Asian Art Festival at Selby Gardens, and a birthday party as Belle down in Venice. Saturday I woke up, got ready, and the car packed, and drove with Pairadox down to the fair.

Pairadox helped me unload, and then drove to get Rachel and her boy, since I had a birthday party gig down in Venice that I had agreed to do before I got hired for the festival. So Rachel would fill in for me, while I went to the other end of the county.

So I worked the festival until 11, at which point I changed into Belle, drove down to Venice, did the birthday party, drove back to Sarasota, changed back into my festival costume, and took over for Rachel at around 2 ish. So I painted more faces until 3:30, when the sky opened up. I sheltered with the food vendors, and called James to get me. We went out for food with Phil, and then stopped by Misha and bnell's place to visit a bit.

Went home, passed out, woke up. Got ready. Checked the weather report, looked at the sky, and went to Biglots and bought a tent. Got to the festival. Then quickly set up tent and booth, with some help from one of the small children who had spent most of the day previous being painted by either me or Rachel. Worked all day.
Was fed at 2:30 by the Thai Palace people who all got there faces painted. Made lots of tips.
Conned more small children into helping me break down the tent.

Loaded up the car, started driving home, went to Goodwill, cause I wanted a treat, got things. Like Shoes which I love and shouldn't wear, a leather sleeveless top that escaped the Matrix, and a tea box. Got a phone call from James, and went to meet him at Misha and bnell's. Hung out. Went out to dinner with Paradox and Aleta. Came to work. Made this post.

So that was my weekend....
shadowedge613: (persephone swallows)
2008-02-22 02:05 pm

Dreams, still and again.

Last night I dreamed of a little community that eschewed modern technology, and lived either in another dimension, or in the middle of nowhere. (The dream was not clear at all.) But the crux of the dream was the mother to daughter line of pie bakers. You see, only one person in this very small community could bake the pies at a time, and there was a lot of anxiety about the pies degenerating from generation to generation, and the fact hat the pie baker's tended to forget about that whole reproducing a replacement thing. So the pies were brought froth, and I declared that the lemon meringue was not as good as it had been. And then there was a storm coming, and I was running around trying to get everything cleaned up and in the house, and there were pink poodle puppies that kept falling into cracks, and my cousins were refusing to take the puppies through the windows. And there was something about dimensional travel and a couple who had wandered here, and then gone back to the modern world, and were trying to come back, but they had to face an inquisition about their relationship, which was full of lies, and infidelities .

And then I woke up, and realized I was supposed to be having lunch with Pairadox right then. So I got showered and and dressed, and met him at Four Winds for a nice lunch. Misha seems to have contracted the plague, so I'm working on gig prep. for the weekend.
shadowedge613: (persephone swallows)
2008-02-20 11:14 am

Dreams, again.

Mazzikin is always very curious about my dreams, since they are vivid, I recall lots of them, and they are odd. Very odd indeed. So I have started making an effort to remember and post my dreams. Sometime they go on different filters, but this one was so weird I thought I would just throw it out there.

So I have enrolled in a class taught by bnell, which is sort of a history/writing/martial arts class. I am the oldest one in the class: everyone else is in 5th grade or so. So I'm doing the class, and having trouble with the martial arts component, because a) I'm larger than most of the other students, and b) I have a lot of anxiety with learning new ways to move my body.

But when I get out of class and go to the cafeteria to look for Pairadox, I am told that he and Mazzikin challenged each other to a race in pirate ships, to this very far away place, and I should see them in 10 years or so. At this my reaction is: "Again?" Because in my dream this had happened before, and it had taken 3 years and a lot of trouble for them to come back. So I'm sitting around for ten years, and at that point I get a letter from Pairadox which refers to other letters which never reached me, saying that he had run into trouble, but he loved me and was coming home. So Pairadox does show up, and my upset about he and Mazzikin leaving on a ten year trip without even telling me seems to have disappeared. Instead I'm very glad to see, him, and happy homecomings ensue. So then I ask him about the rac, and he says he never made it there, and that there were some issues with his ship and some rocks. So neither of us has any idea where Mazzikin could be. So I'm wandering around in the dream looking for him, with Pairadox, and after than was when I woke up.

For future reference: do not leave your girlfriend to go on a ten year race with out telling her first. It makes her upset.
shadowedge613: (persephone swallows)
2008-02-13 08:53 pm

Political stuff.

Dear Senator and Presidential candidate John McCain,

I would like to inform you that your vote against the bill that would ban all "enhanced interrogation techniques", and instead restrict all parts of the intelligence community to procedures found in the Army Field Manual has dashed all respect which I once held for you, as well as any chance that I would vote for you in the upcoming presidential election.

Last year, when a similar bill came before Congress, you made a speech on the floor proclaiming that "Torture is never justified," and voted for the measure, which was later weaseled by the White House into exempting the CIA. This bill would fix that perversion of the intent of Congress, and yet, you voted against it.

You have violated your own principles, in, I suspect, an attempt to win Conservative voters. But in the end, all you have done is prove that your lust for the presidency is stronger than your principles. This is not what we want or need in the leadership of this country, and I will not be voting for you this Novemeber.


If you would like to hear the NPR article on this, you can see here: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=18958581

And yes, I'm sending this to Mr. McCain. Go me.
shadowedge613: (Default)
2008-02-12 09:20 pm

Lipstick

I wrote a poem about lipstick my second year of New College. It was niether so bad that is must never be spoken of, nor good enough to merit inclusion in the post. But I was sitting here tonight, thinking about lipstick.

It is frivolous, unnessary to the extreme. It is a product designed to coat a small part of one's facial epidermus with a chosen color. But.

It is a signifier of feminity, a mating call, a slash of color, like blood on one's lips. Feral amd girly all at once.

I love lipstick. I love the names of the colors, the way the tubes move: little miricles of design, the way it changes my face.

I have never been told I had to wear lipstick. Indeed, lipstick was a right hard won from my seconbd wave feminist mother, who (I suspect) despared at my facination with makeup.

I don't wear lipstick all that often. Mostly these days it is for gigs, which is not the same thing at all. But I was sitting here, thinking about lipstick.
shadowedge613: (fetish ball and a pomagrante)
2008-02-07 09:33 pm

Something new for the journal

...on the hell that Thursdays are. You see, Thursdays, prior to this semester were not particularly memorable. I mean, sure, they were the second to the last day of the week, and niether Monday, nor Wednesday, my heretofore days-I-did-not-much-care-for-days.

But with the decision to take a grad. school class in Tampa came the neccisty to a) drive to Tampa, b)have class from 5-7:45pm, c)jump in the car in order to: d) go to work from 9pm to 1 am.

This drive often takes more than an hour, so I trade time with the person who works the shift before mine. But Thursday's suck.

This Thursday, however, was quite pleasent for a Thursday. I woke up before the alrum, had a lovely lunch with Pairadox, drove up to Tampa, got caught in a very long accedent on 275 on my way to meet Mazzikin for chocolate, had said chocolate, (mmmmmmm), went to class, learned I had gotten a 98% (go me!) on last week's assignment, drove home, got Atlanta Bread Company for dinner, and got to work.

And this is my new defination of a relatively good Thursday. The Best Thursday was when Pairadox took off work, and we spent the day in Tampa together.

But today was pretty good.
shadowedge613: (persephone swallows)
2008-01-25 12:34 am

Abandoment in three acts

Today was lovely, I must admit, but I'm feeling rather down at the end. Part of it is the lateness of the hour, especailly considering when I rose this morning, and at what time I had gone to bed. Another part of it could the the combination of cold, a malfuntioning body, and computer eye strain.

But down I am, although not yet down and out, or down and dirty, or down underground.

The day began early, and Pairadox and I journeyed northwards to my ancestral abode, to visit my paternal parent. We did, and then ventured north to Tampa, and the Taj, and its all you can eat lunch buffet. After a productive detour to Jo-Ann's, for crafty on-sale goodness, we attacked the buffet, and emerged, blinking in the sunlight and much better fed.

With a couple hours to kill, we went to MOSI and saw the IMAX presentation on mummies, and a quite cool little exhibit on India. And the museum store. And the butterfly garden. Then we ventured southish to Borders, where James and I perused books for an hour, beofre I abandoned him to go to my class: the reason we were in Tampa. (Act one)

(Act two) The grand plan to have Mazzikin pick Pairadox up fails to happen, leaving James stranded in the bookstore for several hours. I get a superfludity of messages at the end of class, and rush down to south Tampa to retrieve the abandoned.

Get to work, and Mazzikin shows up, contrite. Then he and Pairadox abscond off to the pub, ofr convivality and drinking with a large group of revealers. I stay a work, and feel vaguely like (Act three).

Tomorrow we shall run off to Tallahasse for Indigo Girls concert, and a weekend of roadtripping fun, and seeing people.

And I'm out.
shadowedge613: (I wear pretty makeup)
2007-12-12 09:34 pm

Best thing ever to veiw in half asleep daze while trying to wake up.

So I check Woot.com pretty much every morning, cause, hey, it might be an awesome woot that day. This was what my sleepy eyes beheld this morning (well, ok, it was 1:30 pm. But I was out late last night.):

NavMan N40i NavPix 3.5" Touchscreen GPS
by Wootbot 12:00 AM
Woot Has this ever happened to you? You’re on your honeymoon, just trying to start your life as a normal couple, when suddenly you have no idea where you are or why it’s raining. The NavMan N40i NavPix GPS is ready for just this problem.

The NavMan N40i NavPix GPS knows the roads like it was the trusted guide in an old R.K.O. movie. The included United States Maps will make it easy for you to plot the best path away from the science department of your beloved American university. Once you’re underway, the built-in “Fuel” and “Park” buttons let you know where to get gas or a safe place to leave the car. You won’t have to go up to that old castle. But if you do, you’ll know that the NavMan N40i NavPix GPS is slim, reliable and accurate. This may not help you at the door, but it will mean one less worry when you see a room full of people doing pelvic thrusts.

The NavMan N40i NavPix GPS lets you look up a location by complete address, which will provide the best route away from that mad scientist in fishnets who is grinning at you. The Journey View lets you see the whole picture, from what came before to where you’re trying to be. There’s a finger-friendly interface (the mad scientist will love that) and a large 3.5” toucha-toucha-toucha-touchscreen. Want to stay for meat loaf? If you do, the Advanced Motorway Navigation will help you plan a new route and make up for lost time.

However, the most interesting feature of the NavMan N40i NavPix GPS is the integrated digital camera that saves what they call NavPix. You can make these NavPix of any place you like, creating the perfect rose-tinted memory, then calling up the route by image to find your way back any time you want. This could come in handy when the local riff-raff decides to send you away before you’re ready to leave.

The NavMan N40i NavPix GPS will help you be where you dream. Just promise us you won’t go to any game shows in Denton.
shadowedge613: (dessert first)
2007-11-22 05:33 pm

Happy Thanksgiving to you all!

I'm in High Springs, takeing a small rest from the truely staggering amounts of family that are gathered here. Rachel came to fetch me at 4 AM, and we drove tow of her friends to the airport. I had not gone to bed as early as I should have last night, so I slept in the backseat for most of the drive.

We got to High Springs, and everyone had gone to church! And locked the house! So I went back to sleep, and Rachel wandered around in the rain until everyone got home.

Breakfast at Aunt Jane's with scrabbled eggs, grits, four different kinds of bread (3 homemade), bacon, coffee or hot cocoa... mmmmmm.

Played lots of board games, hung out with all the cousins, (9, at last count), helped prep food, and now, writing this journal entry. Aunt Jane is worriedly checking the Turkey, since we are supposed to have dinner in 30 miniutes or so.

My best to all of you. May your days be lovely, filled with good food, and safe travel.
shadowedge613: (persephone swallows)
2007-11-18 09:52 pm

birthday celbrations, part 2

The party on Friday was a ton of work to set up, (including sewing my costume for the evening)but awesome, and completely worth it. Good friends, good food, good booze (thanks thyrin), snuggles, truth or dare which got people undressed, music for listening and dancing, and cake to end all ice cream cakes. Anyone want some?

And, not to forget, nifty swag, including many contributions to the tatoo fund. A few more dollars and I may be making an excursion to Largo for inking.

So the party went late into the night, heralding the start of my real birthday. If my state at the time was any indication, this year should be snuggley and drunk.

Then I crashed. When I eventually woke up, there was a waffle for me. With real maple syrup from Vermont. Then I decided that I was not ready for the day, so James and I played some Soul Caliber 3. Then James took a nap, and I decided I was awake, and smate some homework. Then I vegged. Then i did more homework. I checked Facebook, and aquired a gig for Sunday in north Tampa, and thereby saving a friend's butt.

James woke up, and came up with a lovely plan, which started with sushi at the new favorite sushi place, and continued to me going up to Tampa for Castling and crashing at mazzkin's to both shorten my drive in the morning, and Castle! Dancing! With Mazzkin! (Who is one of my favorite people for Castleing, surpassed only by Moonkai, who was dead tired.)

So it all came together, and it was awesome. so I did the gig, and dropped Moonkai's computer at the Apple store (insert timewasting procedures here, where Mazzkin, who had met me for a meal on my way home, volenteered to take over the computer task. Thank you!) so got a tasty salad and pizza from food court, and drove home. Notice please that this day has happened on 4 hours of sleep.

The drive home is realtively uneventful, including such small highlights as an SUV attempting to cream me, while I nimbly dodge, and wondering how I had gotten from point A to point B without thinking about it.

I get home, shower, unpack, and hang out with Pairadox (who shaved off all is facial hair... weird!) and Moonkai, then go to work.
shadowedge613: (I wear pretty makeup)
2007-11-15 03:35 pm

Birthdays, part one

Birthday celebrations tend to come in waves, at least for me with my many families. So on Saturday, we had a kind of last minute birthday dinner for Tim (Aubrey's husband, who's birthday is the day after mine) and me out in Arcadia. It was very nice to see that side of my family, and dinner was homemade and delicious as always. I love my mother's cooking.

Mostly, people we caught short, since it was a week early. But Mama and Dave gave me a book of Robert Pyle's Shakespeare illustrations, and a book of Letters from Winne the Pooh, and a new story by A.A. Milne, called the Magic Hill. It is very adorable. Rachel, Aubrey and Time, all gave me "I owe yous", and Jahna gave me an awesome card with the promise of a pair of handmade earrings.

Today, Dad, Melanie and I had lunch at Samo's, and went the Bargain Barn, where I got more cool decorations for the party. They gave me an Elysian Fields gift certificate. I feel a splurge coming on.

Tonight, we make a big push to finish off the last of the cleaning for the party. The house needs it, but I'm not really looking forward to it. But most of the decorations are up, and my costume is made.


I've been thinking about the past year, and how things have changed... I always do that. And thinking about getting a little older. I know I'm not old yet, but the smile lines on my face are becoming visible, and my face has thinned out a little more. I think the dark eyes are due to not sleeping, rather than the aging thing, but you never know. So here's to another year.