Meme of self explination

[shadowedge613]

Complete form of GKingsley's and LastWordy's meme + Pairadox’s bonus


If I were a stone, I would be... fluorite
If I were a tree, I would be ... a maple tree
If I were a bird, I would be ... a penguin
If I were an insect, I would be ... a bubble bee.
If I were a machine, I would be ... a pencil sharpener.
If I were a tool, I would be ... a screwdriver.
If I were a fruit, I would be ... a peach.
If I were a flower, I would be ... a mock orchid.
If I were a kind of weather, I would be ... a summer storm.
If I were a mythical creature, I would be ... an elf, or possible half elf. Because of my mother…

If I were a musical instrument, I would be ... a bell.
If I were a kind of profession, I would be… a wandering teacher.
If I were an animal, I would be ... a cat.
If I were anything in the world, I would be ... an electrical storm over the ocean.
If I were a color, I would be ... lavender.
If I were a fragrance, I would be ... “Perversion” with vanilla
If I were an emotion, I would be ... the sudden wonder which goes with certain sunsets and pretty girls..
If I were a state or feeling, I would be ... happily lost.
If I were a sound, I would be ... the wind in the trees.
If I were an Element, I would be ... Water.
If I were a book, I would be written by ... Robert Heinlein and Spider Robinson .
If I were a food, I would be ... a mixed berry tart with whipped cream.
If I were a place, I would be ... the forty acres: pre-hurricane.
If I were a taste, I would be ... sweet with a twisted body of fruit, red wine, and chocolate.
If I were a religion, I would be ... a benign cult living on the beach worshiping seashells.
If I were a word, I would be ... “chthonic.”
If I were a body part I would be … the nose. To hold up the glasses.
If I were a facial expression I would be ... a wistful smile.
If I were a shape I would be ... a circle.
If I were a number I would be ... 14 and one half.
If I were an item of clothing, I would be ... a silk skirt.
If I were a piece of jewelry, I would be ... a necklace.
If I were a clothing accessory, I would be ... a scarf.
If I were a song, I would be . . . by Amy Stienburg.
If I were a movie, I would be . . . MirrorMask.
If I were a weapon, I would be . . . A rapier wit.
If I were a time of day, I would be . . . early morning.
If I were a direction, I would be . . . north east.
If I were a wind, I would be . . . whispering.
If I were a shoe, I'd be . . . Leather boots.
If I were a firearm, I would be . . . a combination hunting knife and pistol.
If I were the opposite gender, I would . . . femme.
If I were a city, I would be . . . Amber ( Roger Zelazny).
If I were a toy, I would be . . . a swing.
If I were an artistic movement, I would be . . . Rodan.
If I were a Tarot Card, I would be . . . the Empress.
If I were a river, I'd be . . . The Peace River.
If I were a recyclable, I would be . . . an old draft of a poem.
If I were an insanity, I would be . . . delirious.
If I were a repetition, I would be . . . a round song.

More:

If I were a punctuation mark, I would be… a semi-colon.
If I were a form of currency, I would be… a Susan B. Anthony Half Dollar.
If I were a play, I would be . . . The Forty Minute Titus. By Katherine Sheaffer and Claire Miller
If I were a drink, I would be . . . Homemade sangria.
If I were a hallucinogen, I would be . . . Desire.
If I were a wish, I would . . . come true when you least expect it.